i have decided to somehow put on "paper" our journey of adoption. i am not going to try too hard to make this sound grammatically correct or put too much thought into how this all sounds. i am just going to talk as though i was sitting down with a cup of coffee talking to a friend. adoption is funny. i mean, you can tell right away the people that think,"umm.. ok, don't get it, but whatever.." and those that do get it when i mention our adoption. some may think, "you guys can have children biologically, you have 3 of them, you are getting close to 40.. why in the heck would you want to do this... and from Africa too!" well.. here is my heart....
when micah and i first married almost 16 years ago, we both couldn't wait to have kids and we talked about wanting 5. i come from a small family, just me and my sister and there are 3 kids in micah's family. we love big families and wanted that for ourselves as much as for the kids in our home. well... after having 3 kids in 3 1/2 years (and 1 miscarriage), the dr advised us from having anymore since i inherited the wonderful gene of varicose veins (he thought another pregnancy would put me at risk)...... thanks mom! :)
... well, ever since our youngest was born, i never really felt like our family was complete. we have 3 incredible kids, but we really desired for a few more, and our son wants a brother SOOOOOOOO bad! this yearning has been in my heart for over 6 years now. during those 6 years, i have researched, emailed and received info packets on many agencies (both domestic and international)... the timing never seemed to work out or be good for our family. and then God's providence makes itself center stage. actually, i know it was there all along and He was just waiting for the right time to reveal His plan.
Back in april, i was talking with a friend at church and she shared with me that she was leaving to go get her son from ghana..... i knew standing right there in church that this was IT~ God spoke to me thru her in that moment to say "Yes, now my child"...
and so from that point on micah and i have been seeking the Lord, stepping out in faith and moving forward with the process. after 6 years, it is hard to believe it is actually happening and we are really doing this. it pretty much consumes my thoughts and tugs on my heart 99.9% of the day. i am weepy, emotional, stressed, elated, nervous, busy...... in a way, it is a lot like pregnancy! :) seriously, it is similar in some ways... there is a bunch of hurry up and wait... i have done ALL i can to speed up the process on my end and now i am sending all the paperwork to ghana this week and then it is completely out of my hands. there will be days and weeks of waiting that i am sure will seem like an eternity! i have even started nesting a little to prepare for when A comes home. that's another post another time... the mother's heart is deep waters.
well, i think this by far is my longest post.... not that more than 4 people check my blog, but it is good for me to journal this, even if just for me.
6 comments:
Girl, you brought back memories to me clear as day while we were adopting Tobin. I went through the same things. I totally get what you and your family are expericing and your emoitions and thoughts are real. My girls often say it like we never adopted Tobin, he has always been ours from the beginging. He has!!!
man, i am a puddle of emotions lately. sorry i couldn't make it to the party... i heard it was real nice. I probably won't see you before you leave, so please have a safe trip and keep me posted with things on your blog. it was really nice getting to know you!
Lori, I think you did an incredible job writing out your thoughts and journey.
Just know that this friend is so excited and inspired by what you and your obedient family is doing! I also think that you guys will receive an even bigger gift than A through this God led adoption.
We'll be praying and anxiously awaiting with you! Have a fun time at camp!
Lori, I just shared with Jeff your story. He just reminded me that his grandmother Roberta was a mission lady for years and years in Ghana. When you are there ask around if they knew Grandma Roberta. She acutally took the bible and tranleted it to their language. She was a remarkable women. She rode around in ghana on a motorcycle till she was 85.
The stories she shares with us about Ghana were beautiful and inspriring. You and Micha are in our prayers. I will miss you and looking forward to hearing more.
Have a fun time at camp!
Ok, we both know that my lacking ability is the reason I haven't left a post previously, but now it's just a loss of words. I love that you're sharing the details of this process.
Blogging status: first comment down, many to go. I'll be a pro in no time.
Love you!
thanks for sharing your story! still praying for you all.
love, jenny
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