for anyone who is looking for updates about our adoption....this is what i know.....
listen.. can you hear it? turn the music off.. now........ do you hear it?
yes, you hear it......
nothing.
without going into every gory detail, i can sum it up by saying the chance of Apollo coming home by christmas, hinges on 4 days next week. 4 days for the paperwork to be approved. if it doesn't come in by then, we won't bring him home until January. it is a sad and frustrating thought to realize the paperwork probably won't be ready in 4 days.
i wrestled with God over this last night. i am so glad he allows me to be real and honest about my sadness, frustration and complete anxiety - he can take it - he is the creator of the universe after all -
i cried and pleaded until i was limp on the floor. like a child runs to her father for comfort and help, i am now hiding in the shadow of his wing.
the rest of my feelings are private and reflective...feelings and emotions that are shared by those other wonderful moms who are going through this too. i don't want to share it all with the world, nor can i even find the words to express how i feel inside.
but these are things i know that get me through the day....
God loves me
God loves Apollo
God knows what is best
God knows when Apollo is coming home
I have an amazing husband and 3 other terrific kids at home
Apollo is safe
Apollo is healthy
Apollo is not going hungry
In 18 months this will all be a distant memory
This is building my faith
He is my son and he WILL come home
God loves me
God loves Apollo
God loves me
God loves Apollo
God loves me
God
loves
Apollo
6 comments:
Lori, I am so sorry that you hurting right now. You know and appreciate that it is God's timing but as we all know, it is still difficult. I will pray that you get good news in the next four days. I also look forward to seeing him home as you are so right, it will soon all be a distant memory- you will have Apollo and will be unable to imagine your life without him there with all of you.
Sending cyber hugs,
Jennine
I am so sorry you are sad. There are no words I can share to make you feel better, I know. I just want you to know that I see God's glory in you when I read your updates and I thank Him for allowing me to know someone like you ...
Thanks for being so real on your blog. The journey to international adoption is NOT a fairy tale ... it's hard.
A year ago, we thought we would have our kids home by Thanksgiving. Then, we thought for SURE our kids would be home by Christmas. Friends who had begun the process after us, brought their kids home for Christmas ... as we waited, and waited, and waited.
Praying that your wait is not as long as ours was.
Laurel :)
Lori...you are a Real and true warrior and I count it a privilege to walk this road in prayer with you! I know you know the maker of TIME and all that fits into each slot...Keep on keeping on...your heart brightens my day each time we talk/pray/laugh/cry!
Apollo will soon be in your arms!
Carrie <><
I can truely say I understand your feelings. I remember those days and nights of crying for Tobin and waiting to bring him home. When we came back after our first visit, I was so numb yet at the same time on a high of getting things in order to bring my son home. God knows what is best and your son knows you and Micha love him with all your heart. You are in my prayers everday, girl. I totally get where you are at.
Oh man. I am right there in all those feelings. At church a friend came up and said something like, it's just like being overdue when you are pregnant.
Yup. I said. Except - here, let me take your baby, now I will go to Africa for a few months and you will have minimal, if any, contact with your child.
It's different when you have kissed that face and held that child in your arms.
Our adoption direction always tells me, "We know better, but God knows best."
Can't argue with that!
You are in our prayers and your pain and sadness is close to my heart.
Post a Comment